Midlife Transition: The Journey of Time
When you reach your late 30s and early 40s you reach a significant turning point in life where you are given the opportunity to release the past and evolve further into your own authentic self. Having completed your entrance into adulthood around age 30, you are now looking at your midlife transition. Midlife is hallmarked by four significant phases.
For each person the specific phase can occur at different times than for others. Some generations did not experience them until they were more solidly into their 40s, but as of the writing of this article, general observation is that they are occurring as early as age 36. To discover when these aspects are in effect you can arrange a 1-1 consultation with me.
The four phases will take you through approximately ages 36-45. They are:
- Journey of Depth
- Journey of Change
- Journey of Spirit
- Journey of Time
To summarize the nature of these phases and their midlife effects:
The Journey of Depth is one of transformation, destruction and control in order to create something authentic. Where you have been playing around and not being serious, you will get serious now because everything will come to ashes around you and you will need to rebuild.
The Journey of Change is marked by surprise, sudden shocks, changes, upsetting issues situations, eccentricity and the unusual. Two areas of your life will experience pronounced change by showing you where you need to exercise more individuality and independence.
The Journey of Spirit heralds a time of confusion and the obscuring of reality. You can end up feeling as though your existence and accomplishments up to now are worth nothing. You are faced with questioning yourself and working through things an emerging with a new spiritual connection – or you could escape reality buy delving into obsessions and addictions with sex, drugs, alcohol or lying.
When these three phases have finished their wild ride with you, the final and serious Journey of Time joins the fray for the final lesson at age 43 or 44. The nature of the Journey of Time is limitations, restrictions, structures, discipline, reality and resistance. These are challenging, difficult and often painful situations in our lives. We may suffer from depression, repressed anger, physical illnesses (especially bones and teeth) due to the heavy responsibilities we are carrying in life – family relationships, work situations or attempts to pursue an authentic life. Mental illness is possible if a stable base cannot be formed in life. By being conscientious you can make beneficial changes.
Midlife phases mean major re-evaluation of the value and meaningfulness of our lives. Have we achieved the goals and dreams of the past? Are those dreams still relevant? Are our current circumstances serving us? This re-evaluation is much like a birthing process, transforming life from one phase to the next and defining how we are going to live the second half of our life. At times the changes can be so profound we hardly recognize the person we were before. This process, both excruciating, and exhilarating, is a re-birthing, a redefining of who we are that brings us into profound communion with our spirit. And just like being born, this phase can be marked by alternating periods of tremendous pressure, turmoil, and intensity (the contraction), interspersed with calm (the relaxation) and, finally, the excitement as something new and promising comes into existence.
The Journey of Time at midlife is a time to re-examine the concerns of two areas of life where you are called to learn and then from that learning, mature and teach others. You are being faced with The Teacher and the best way to be successful with this phase is to be a willing pupil. The first inkling of this phase occurred at about age 14/15, then again from approximately age 27.5 until 30 (32 for some) and now there is a repeat of the lesson from age 14/15 is here again at midlife. As it begins we re-evaluate and makes changes. At age 44/45 it is time to re-evaluate the past 14 years or so. What have you accomplished since age 28 that is true and authentic and can be built upon as you advance through your 40s and into your 50s? Ages 44-59 can be the most productive and creative of your life.
The Journey of Time builds structure and is all about reality. The coming 14 year period can be very productive if you have cleared away the rubbish which has accumulated – literally and figuratively. Are there possessions and people who no longer serve you well? Have things come to the end of their usefulness or has a relationship gone as far as it will go? What is blocking you and posing as an obstacle? Ask yourself which situations in your life are limiting you, frustrating you, and blocking your efforts? What is it that you cannot accomplish with things as they are? This is where you need to build a new, more solid structure.
Remember that midlife is about YOU. It may mean you must leave a dead marriage (divorces are common at this time), end a high-stress job and take up a profession that pays less but has more satisfaction, or you may choose to get married for the first time and have a child. Many women have delayed marriage or their life path is one where marriage was not to occur until their 40s. Now they are ready for a new phase of life that will include finding an egalitarian love relationship and bearing/raising children as confident, educated, responsible mothers.
The Journey of Time and the other three phases of midlife are a time of chaos. Chaos is crisis and opportunity. Beyond the crisis, they are an opportunity to cleanse our souls, and strengthen our minds and bodies. If we are willing pupils through the entire process, especially the Time phase, we will emerge from these approximately seven years as wonderfully transformed and mature persons.
If you are between 36-45 and would like a confidential consultation, please send me an email at lifeconsult(at)humanityinstitute.com
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